Lately I’ve been curious about the fear of judgment. As I have been working towards my Health Coaching Certificate and am getting closer to graduation, I am now able to take on clients. I believe there are truly some things I need to have in place before I do that, but I also acknowledge that a number of these “tasks” are just in my head. [ As a side note, I was listening to a presentation today by an expert in money management, and she pointed out that a lot of women want things to be perfect before they make any moves – this could pertain to business or finance. I’m not sold that this strictly applies to women. I think both sexes have their share of struggles with this. ]
The point is, and what I’ve boiled this down to, is a fear of judgment. My thought pattern goes something like this: Ok I’m starting this health coaching business – I have the option to take people one on one, in groups, through workshops…but I need to start putting up content on social media, on my website, and I need to start posting videos and now I’m overwhelmed… …and while I am aware that those are the tasks at hand, I’m at this point where I’m kind of paralyzed. Then my thoughts go something like: Ok well…someone is going to know more about health coaching than me (and maybe that’s going to cause a problem)…
So I’m talking through this with myself and I’m trying to understand why I feel that is a legitimate excuse. Because if you think about it…someone is a better doctor, someone is a better math teacher, someone is a better cook, and a better coach. So am I fearful of that person? Someone calling me out? And maybe that is a legitimate concern because today on social media people are so fearless when it comes to ripping others apart, because there are no repercussions (which is another issue and blog post).
So the common rebuttal to all of that would be…’you can’t care what people think’…well, no shit. If that was easy, I think a lot more people would do what they were passionate about. We all have this fear of judgment and it keeps so many people in a box. It keeps them from doing SO many things that they would rather be doing.
People will literally live a life that they hate because they are afraid of judgment.
This is insanely interesting to me, especially as I am on the cusp of making this move and trying to bring myself into a mindset where I don’t fear being judged…or at the very least where I feel that I’m solid enough to withstand it.
What is important is that we acknowledge the people that are stepping into that. Or the people who are leaning into what they really believe and taking the risk. While it can be so freeing, it’s truly a difficult step to take and I think that if we were to acknowledge that then more people would be willing to do it.
They would be willing to ask themselves the tough questions about what they want to do with their life. Do they really want to stay at their job? Do they really want to have children? Do they really want to live in the same place they grew up? Do they truly want to stay in their current relationship? Do they want to maintain the same friendships?
I truly believe it’s important that we acknowledge that these aren’t easy questions to answer, and further that making a change isn’t an easy call. To simply know and understand that other people feel this same way brings the human aspect into it and allows us to feel less alone when we have to make these big decisions.
This isn’t a call for you to make one of these big decisions (or even a small decision), it’s a call for you to be honest about where you are at because you never know who you might be helping.